Men's Sex Mistakes cont.

Sex Mistake #5 (from WebMD)

Men often make the assumption that if a woman is turned on, she's wet. Not necessarily. Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. So a woman can be aroused without getting slippery enough for easy penetration. It's a mistake for guys to get hung up about it. The flip side also occurs - a woman can be wet but not feel aroused or ready for intercourse.

Bottomline, if you're relying solely on vaginal wetness to determine whether your partner is turned on and ready to get it on, you can be easily misled. It's another reason why it's important to be tuned in on multiple levels and to communicate.

Men's Sex Mistakes cont.

Sex Mistake #4 (from WebMD)

Lack of familiarity with the clitoris can lead to signficant sexual mistakes. Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it, but that doesn't mean they really understand it.
More than 30 years ago, at the start of the sexual revolution, the best-selling book, The Joy of Sex, stressed the orgasmic importance of the clitoris. But the belief that women should be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration alone stubbornly persists. For a great number of women, it's not going to happen that way.

Men also lack information about how to touch the clitoris and how sensitive it is. A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation. The only way to know is to explore and ask.

Men's Sex Mistakes Cont.

Mistake #3 (From WebMD)

Men and women approach sex very differently, and there's often a big disconnect between the sexes in terms of what feels good. Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook, says "When a man has intercourse with a woman and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her. It couldn't be further from the truth."

The inside of the vagina is often less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. That's not to say that there aren't women who love intercourse. It's just important not to assume that what feels great to you also feels great to your partner.

Men's Sex Mistakes cont.

Mistake #2 (From WebMD)

Men who are insecure may take it very personally if a partner needs stimulation that they can't provide. However, some women can't have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration, but men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator. Needing a vibrator to achieve orgasm doesn't mean a woman is broken.

Think of a vibrator as your asistant, not your substitute. Anything that enhances your partner's satisfaction is likely to increase her interest in sex. That's got to be a good thing.

Men's Sex Mistakes

A lot of men think they know everything there is to know about making love to a woman. But there's a lot of misinformation out there that can lead to major sex mistakes. As noted in a recent article on WebMD, guys often take their cues from adult movies - and that in itself is a major mistake. WebMD asked two sex educators, Tristan Taomino and Lou Paget, what they thought were the most common sex mistakes men make with women. I'll be posting on that topic over the next several days.

Mistake No. 1: You Know What She Wants

Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they've done with other women. But women aren't all the same. "You should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person", Taomino says.

The obvious way out of this mistake is to ask your partner what she likes. She may have difficulty talking about her preferences, but that's not a reason to stop asking.

Safe Sex

I'm not going to talk about the importance of safe sex if you're casually hooking up with somebody you just met at a party. You already know that a condom is an absolute must in those sexual encounters. But what if you're in a committed relationship? Do you need to worry about protecting yourself?

It all depends on your comfort level with risk. Even in a committed relationship, your partner could be unfaithful or have an undiagnosed STD from years ago. Some couples with a colorful sexual history prior to meeting choose to get tested for STDs to increase their peace of mind. Then, use of a condom is dependent on how much you trust each other to be exclusive in your sexual relationship.

All life is a risk, and most people prefer sex without protection. It's up to you to assess the safety of your relationship and then do a cost/benefit analysis to determine how much risk you're willing to take.

Cybersex

It started out innocently. You were contacted by an old high school sweetheart on FaceBook, or you met in a chat room. First, you just got acquainted - or reacquainted. It didn't take long before the anonymity of cyberspace had you sharing on a more intimate level and maybe detailing the problems in your current relationship. Then the flirtation and innuendo began. It was exciting, and often became the highlight of your day.

That's how cybersex often begins. You can justify it because the person you're having an 'affair' with is 2,000 miles away, and you're not really doing anything wrong. Or are you?

Two of the most hurtful aspects of an affair are the secrecy and the deception. It's a betrayal of trust - and even when it's strictly confined to cyberspace, it violates the boundary around a couple's relationship. General rule: if you'd be uncomfortable with your partner reading your communications with an internet 'friend', you're probably on very shaky ground.