Getting It 'Right'

I posted yesterday about a woman who was hurt by criticism about her skill as a lover. How do you rate your lovemaking skills? You may not hear much from your partner -which can leave you wondering if you're doing something 'right'. If that's the case, I'd certainly recommend that you start by asking your lover for specific feedback. There are also many resources available - videos as well as books - that provide excellent information on maximizing your partner's pleasure. Videos that provide intimate instruction are often aimed at couples and can be found online or in sex boutiques.

Of course, too much emphasis on getting it 'right' removes you from the direct experience of the moment. So do what you can to improve your confidence as a lover - then relax and enjoy the journey.

Power and Sexiness

I recently read the results of a survey conducted with hundreds of men and women who were asked what traits they considered sexiest in the opposite sex. Though physical appearance was the initial attraction for most of those who responded, power was next on the list.

Most men said that the women they considered sexy were those that were self-confident, financially and emotionally independent, made decisions on their own, and were comfortable with confrontation. Sounds like powerful women, doesn't it?

Most women said that sexy men were those who took charge, were decisive, could not be controlled, were forceful in their opinions, possessed high self-esteem, and had the ability to emotionally connect. Again, pretty powerful men.

The connection is clear. If you want to be sexier, work on building your self-esteem, increasing your independence, and claiming more power.