Sexual Self-Esteem

I've talked a lot about sexuality and healthy self-esteem. But sometimes a person who is confident in most other areas of their life still suffers from poor sexual self-image. Maybe they never developed much sexual self-esteem or maybe it took a major hit when a partner had an affair or a partner lost sexual interest. Divorce, aging, and weight gain can also be factors in losing sexual confidence.

Building - or rebuilding - sexual self-esteem involves challenging the negative beliefs about yourself as a sexual person. If you tell yourself that you are not desirable or sexy, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Find examples of real people who are sexy despite having a few years and a few extra pounds more than the stereotypical 'sexy' person. Understand that a partner's affair or loss of sexual interest is more a statement about them than a reflection on you. Don't allow others to define you as a sexual being. Sexy is not about how you look - it's about how you think and feel. Losing your inner critic may be a lot more important than losing 20 pounds.