Feel Good Science of Sex

Did you know that most of the brain shuts down during orgasm? That's got to be at least one of the reasons that it's such an intense experience - it takes you 'out of your head'. Then there's the release of oxytocin and vasopressin accompanying orgasm that increase the attachment and closeness to your partner. And, as if that's not enough, seminal fluid contains not only estrogen and testosterone but also dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine - a mix of feel-good chemicals.

Studies indicate that the more often a person has sex, the happier they are. Now maybe happier people are just inclined to have more sex rather than the other way around. But what if all the feel-good chemical and hormonal reactions that go on in your body when you have sex really do make you happier? It may be another reason to make sex a higher priority. And you might make your partner happier as well.

Why Bother?

If you're someone who never feels any sexual urges or drive, why should you put effort into making sex a priority? Why not just give it a rest?


Let's start with your relationship. Sex is like relationship super glue. It's the one thing that makes your primary relationship different from all others. There's also a bonding chemical called oxytocin that's released when you're having sex (and when mothers are breast feeding) that builds trust and brings you closer to your partner. Let sex slip away from your relationship and emotional distance is usually not far behind. And if you're in a relationship with someone who DOES care about sex, I probably don't need to tell you that ignoring your partner's need is a surefire recipe for couple trouble.

Try giving a little extra attention to your sex life this week and take note of the fringe benefits to your relationship. You may be glad you bothered.