Anticipation

One of the nice things about putting a sex date on your calendar is that you have time to anticipate it. A slow sexual build-up creates tension and excitement. You can enhance the build-up by making a suggestive phone call or sending a steamy email to your lover during the day. Indulge in fantasy in the hours leading up to your date and connect to your sexiest self.

Once you are with your lover, let the anticipation continue to build. Don't rush things - feel the excitement but remain patient. Back off and build up again, teasing and delaying until a delicious sense of urgency overtakes both of you. Anticipation allows us to entertain tension, relaxation, and playfulness all at the same time. If the familiarity in your relationship has led to boredom, it's time to put anticipation back into action.

Breaking Up Boredom

I've talked about the importance of changing up your sexual routine to keep things interesting, but novelty is also important outside the sexual arena. If your relationship is basically on solid ground but you've fallen into a rut, your sex life will benefit if you put some more excitement into your life as a couple.

Try learning something new together. Take up salsa lessons, sign up for a foreign language class, or visit some wineries to discover some new wines. If you're up for a little more adventure, do some snorkeling or scuba diving, go horseback riding, or learn how to sail. When you engage in activities with your partner that are a little scary, dopamine is released in the brain which enhances both pleasure and bonding.

Don't let boredom zap your zest for life. Keeping things fresh is energizing - both inside and outside the bedroom.

Taking Sex Out of the Bedroom

If 100% of your sex life takes place in the bedroom, it may be time to take it on the road - or at least to different rooms of your house. Whether you try out the new mattress in the guest room, clear the dining room table for a different kind of dinner party, or find a new use for the kitchen sink, changing the location of your lovemaking is sure to add some spark to your sex life.

If you're up for a little more adventure, think about places outside your house where you'd like to make love - or at least make out. Though discretion is important, a small element of risk often adds to the excitement. Necking in the car, at the movies, in an elevator - playing footsie under the table at a restaurant - frolicking outdoors when you find yourselves alone in the woods, in the sand dunes, in the water - there are endless possibilities for creating special erotic encounters. So leave the comfort and safety of your bed once in a while for a little higher octane fun!