What is Sexy?

In a recent column, Ellen Goodman wrote, "We are...a culture that defines sexy as something seen rather than something felt." That's what makes it tough for those of us who aren't magazine cover material to feel sexy. But sexy is really about feeling confident, being passionate about life, and being able to fully inhabit our bodies - whatever shape or size. Sex connects us to our life force and creates energy and excitement.

If you want to enhance your 'sexiness quotient', work on moving more awareness into your body. Claim your maleness or femaleness and focus on your strengths. Quiet those voices that tell you you're not good enough. Find something to get excited about every day - even if it's just snagging a front parking spot at the grocery. Don't let a day go by without at least one good belly laugh. Feeling good about yourself and being energized about life may not land you on the cover of a magazine, but you will definitely be sexy!

Kissing

Have you stopped kissing your partner? I mean really kissing - not the hello or goodbye peck that often passes for kissing in the comfortable stage of a relationship. If passionate, make- you-weak-in-the-knees kissing is only a dim memory from your early courtship, it's time to stage a revival. Real kisses are not only an easy path to seduction, but also make your partner feel important and desired. Not to mention what long, lingering kisses can do for your own libido.

So, brush your teeth, gargle a bit, and surprise your lover with some old-fashioned necking. Start slowly - you don't have to drive your tongue down your lover's throat right away. A few soft kisses on the face, neck, and ears will help build anticipation. Then some gentle kisses on the lips, followed by a gradual increase in tongue action, followed by........... Use your imagination.