Sex Mistake #6 (from WebMD)
A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex - but unless you speak up, your partner has to guess what's doing it for you and what isn't. If you're respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some directions.
That doesn't mean you have to give step-by-step instructions, but making gentle suggestions and letting her know how you like it is a very useful conversation to have.
I'm headed to the beach for a much-needed vacation with my husband, so I'll be taking a break from posting for the next week. I'll be back on April 6th and will be talking about women's sex mistakes.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Men's Sex Mistakes cont.
Sex Mistake #5 (from WebMD)
Men often make the assumption that if a woman is turned on, she's wet. Not necessarily. Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. So a woman can be aroused without getting slippery enough for easy penetration. It's a mistake for guys to get hung up about it. The flip side also occurs - a woman can be wet but not feel aroused or ready for intercourse.
Bottomline, if you're relying solely on vaginal wetness to determine whether your partner is turned on and ready to get it on, you can be easily misled. It's another reason why it's important to be tuned in on multiple levels and to communicate.
Men often make the assumption that if a woman is turned on, she's wet. Not necessarily. Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. So a woman can be aroused without getting slippery enough for easy penetration. It's a mistake for guys to get hung up about it. The flip side also occurs - a woman can be wet but not feel aroused or ready for intercourse.
Bottomline, if you're relying solely on vaginal wetness to determine whether your partner is turned on and ready to get it on, you can be easily misled. It's another reason why it's important to be tuned in on multiple levels and to communicate.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Men's Sex Mistakes cont.
Sex Mistake #4 (from WebMD)
Lack of familiarity with the clitoris can lead to signficant sexual mistakes. Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it, but that doesn't mean they really understand it.
More than 30 years ago, at the start of the sexual revolution, the best-selling book, The Joy of Sex, stressed the orgasmic importance of the clitoris. But the belief that women should be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration alone stubbornly persists. For a great number of women, it's not going to happen that way.
Men also lack information about how to touch the clitoris and how sensitive it is. A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation. The only way to know is to explore and ask.
Lack of familiarity with the clitoris can lead to signficant sexual mistakes. Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it, but that doesn't mean they really understand it.
More than 30 years ago, at the start of the sexual revolution, the best-selling book, The Joy of Sex, stressed the orgasmic importance of the clitoris. But the belief that women should be able to orgasm from vaginal penetration alone stubbornly persists. For a great number of women, it's not going to happen that way.
Men also lack information about how to touch the clitoris and how sensitive it is. A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation. The only way to know is to explore and ask.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Men's Sex Mistakes Cont.
Mistake #3 (From WebMD)
Men and women approach sex very differently, and there's often a big disconnect between the sexes in terms of what feels good. Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook, says "When a man has intercourse with a woman and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her. It couldn't be further from the truth."
The inside of the vagina is often less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. That's not to say that there aren't women who love intercourse. It's just important not to assume that what feels great to you also feels great to your partner.
Men and women approach sex very differently, and there's often a big disconnect between the sexes in terms of what feels good. Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook, says "When a man has intercourse with a woman and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her. It couldn't be further from the truth."
The inside of the vagina is often less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. That's not to say that there aren't women who love intercourse. It's just important not to assume that what feels great to you also feels great to your partner.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Men's Sex Mistakes cont.
Mistake #2 (From WebMD)
Men who are insecure may take it very personally if a partner needs stimulation that they can't provide. However, some women can't have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration, but men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator. Needing a vibrator to achieve orgasm doesn't mean a woman is broken.
Think of a vibrator as your asistant, not your substitute. Anything that enhances your partner's satisfaction is likely to increase her interest in sex. That's got to be a good thing.
Men who are insecure may take it very personally if a partner needs stimulation that they can't provide. However, some women can't have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration, but men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator. Needing a vibrator to achieve orgasm doesn't mean a woman is broken.
Think of a vibrator as your asistant, not your substitute. Anything that enhances your partner's satisfaction is likely to increase her interest in sex. That's got to be a good thing.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Men's Sex Mistakes
A lot of men think they know everything there is to know about making love to a woman. But there's a lot of misinformation out there that can lead to major sex mistakes. As noted in a recent article on WebMD, guys often take their cues from adult movies - and that in itself is a major mistake. WebMD asked two sex educators, Tristan Taomino and Lou Paget, what they thought were the most common sex mistakes men make with women. I'll be posting on that topic over the next several days.
Mistake No. 1: You Know What She Wants
Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they've done with other women. But women aren't all the same. "You should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person", Taomino says.
The obvious way out of this mistake is to ask your partner what she likes. She may have difficulty talking about her preferences, but that's not a reason to stop asking.
Mistake No. 1: You Know What She Wants
Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they've done with other women. But women aren't all the same. "You should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person", Taomino says.
The obvious way out of this mistake is to ask your partner what she likes. She may have difficulty talking about her preferences, but that's not a reason to stop asking.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Safe Sex
I'm not going to talk about the importance of safe sex if you're casually hooking up with somebody you just met at a party. You already know that a condom is an absolute must in those sexual encounters. But what if you're in a committed relationship? Do you need to worry about protecting yourself?
It all depends on your comfort level with risk. Even in a committed relationship, your partner could be unfaithful or have an undiagnosed STD from years ago. Some couples with a colorful sexual history prior to meeting choose to get tested for STDs to increase their peace of mind. Then, use of a condom is dependent on how much you trust each other to be exclusive in your sexual relationship.
All life is a risk, and most people prefer sex without protection. It's up to you to assess the safety of your relationship and then do a cost/benefit analysis to determine how much risk you're willing to take.
It all depends on your comfort level with risk. Even in a committed relationship, your partner could be unfaithful or have an undiagnosed STD from years ago. Some couples with a colorful sexual history prior to meeting choose to get tested for STDs to increase their peace of mind. Then, use of a condom is dependent on how much you trust each other to be exclusive in your sexual relationship.
All life is a risk, and most people prefer sex without protection. It's up to you to assess the safety of your relationship and then do a cost/benefit analysis to determine how much risk you're willing to take.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Cybersex
It started out innocently. You were contacted by an old high school sweetheart on FaceBook, or you met in a chat room. First, you just got acquainted - or reacquainted. It didn't take long before the anonymity of cyberspace had you sharing on a more intimate level and maybe detailing the problems in your current relationship. Then the flirtation and innuendo began. It was exciting, and often became the highlight of your day.
That's how cybersex often begins. You can justify it because the person you're having an 'affair' with is 2,000 miles away, and you're not really doing anything wrong. Or are you?
Two of the most hurtful aspects of an affair are the secrecy and the deception. It's a betrayal of trust - and even when it's strictly confined to cyberspace, it violates the boundary around a couple's relationship. General rule: if you'd be uncomfortable with your partner reading your communications with an internet 'friend', you're probably on very shaky ground.
That's how cybersex often begins. You can justify it because the person you're having an 'affair' with is 2,000 miles away, and you're not really doing anything wrong. Or are you?
Two of the most hurtful aspects of an affair are the secrecy and the deception. It's a betrayal of trust - and even when it's strictly confined to cyberspace, it violates the boundary around a couple's relationship. General rule: if you'd be uncomfortable with your partner reading your communications with an internet 'friend', you're probably on very shaky ground.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Quickies
Long-term readers of this blog can skip tonight's post - it's a repeat of a post from 2007. I'm repeating it because I frequently get questions - or complaints - about the kind of sex frequently referred to as 'quickies'.
Quickies have gotten a bad rap in some circles - viewed as selfish behavior geared toward male gratification. But quickies have their place in a couple's sexual repertoire. Sometimes a quickie is satisfying to both parties - and when time is at a premium, urgency can lend some excitement to the act. (Think in the shower before work.) It can even be a kind of foreplay, whetting the appetite for more when time permits. Quickies can also be a gift given by the low desire person to their higher desire partner.Hopefully you are making time for some leisurely sexual encounters which include plenty of time for foreplay. Just remember that passion is expressed in many forms - one of which just might include a quick sexual tryst when the urge hits.
Quickies have gotten a bad rap in some circles - viewed as selfish behavior geared toward male gratification. But quickies have their place in a couple's sexual repertoire. Sometimes a quickie is satisfying to both parties - and when time is at a premium, urgency can lend some excitement to the act. (Think in the shower before work.) It can even be a kind of foreplay, whetting the appetite for more when time permits. Quickies can also be a gift given by the low desire person to their higher desire partner.Hopefully you are making time for some leisurely sexual encounters which include plenty of time for foreplay. Just remember that passion is expressed in many forms - one of which just might include a quick sexual tryst when the urge hits.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Spring Fever
Spring is a time of rebirth and renewal following a period of dormancy. Translation: sex is in the air. Our sexual senses are rejuvenated in Spring as the longer days and increased exposure to sunlight trigger hormonal changes. The sunlight can even increase endorphin levels which impact libido. You may also have more energy and just be in a better mood.
Then there's the fact that as the temperature warms up, we start shedding extra layers of clothes and show more skin. We start eating lighter, healthier foods and become more physically active. It all adds up to a greater focus on the body - and on the bodies of others.
As Spring approaches, let your senses come alive and tune into your sexuality. Making love is a great way to celebrate the Spring equinox.
Then there's the fact that as the temperature warms up, we start shedding extra layers of clothes and show more skin. We start eating lighter, healthier foods and become more physically active. It all adds up to a greater focus on the body - and on the bodies of others.
As Spring approaches, let your senses come alive and tune into your sexuality. Making love is a great way to celebrate the Spring equinox.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Too Much Masturbation?
I've written before about masturbation, but I was recently asked about the role it plays in relationships. Can masturbating have a negative effect on a couple's sexual relationship? The answer, of course, is it depends.
In an effort to manage desire differences, a higher desire person may masturbate occasionally rather than expect to have all their sexual needs met by their partner. That can be a good thing. Or if a partner is unavailable for sex due to absence, illness, or disability, masturbation is a good outlet for pent-up sexual energy.
But if someone is masturbating in place of having sex with a willing and available partner, then there's a problem. That may sound like a strange choice, but it happens. The advantage of masturbation over partner sex is that you focus solely on yourself, you stimulate yourself in exactly the way you like to be stimulated, and you're free to fantasize or view pornography in the process. Some people prefer solo sex over partner sex because there's no one else's needs to complicate things. But I probably don't have to spell out how that might negatively affect a couple's sexual relationship.
In an effort to manage desire differences, a higher desire person may masturbate occasionally rather than expect to have all their sexual needs met by their partner. That can be a good thing. Or if a partner is unavailable for sex due to absence, illness, or disability, masturbation is a good outlet for pent-up sexual energy.
But if someone is masturbating in place of having sex with a willing and available partner, then there's a problem. That may sound like a strange choice, but it happens. The advantage of masturbation over partner sex is that you focus solely on yourself, you stimulate yourself in exactly the way you like to be stimulated, and you're free to fantasize or view pornography in the process. Some people prefer solo sex over partner sex because there's no one else's needs to complicate things. But I probably don't have to spell out how that might negatively affect a couple's sexual relationship.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sexless
There's a book, The Sex-Starved Marriage, that I frequently recommend to couples who are struggling with their sexual relationship. But what exactly constitutes a 'sex-starved' or 'sexless' marriage? Both terms are most likely ones used by the higher desire partner to describe a relationship in which they feel like they have to beg, plead, and pressure to get any sex. But does it mean that there's no sex at all going on?
Not usually. It's not unusual, however, for me to see couples whose last sexual encounter took place months ago. If one of the partners is feeling 'starved' for sex, there's a problem even if the couple is having sex once a week. Sexual needs and desires have to be negotiated. There's no magic number that describes the frequency of sex for happily married couples. If you're with a partner who wants sex every day, and you're content with sex once a month, both of you have some work to do to make sure you're reaching out and attempting to honor the difference in your levels of desire. Just ignoring the difference is a setup for resentment and conflict.
Not usually. It's not unusual, however, for me to see couples whose last sexual encounter took place months ago. If one of the partners is feeling 'starved' for sex, there's a problem even if the couple is having sex once a week. Sexual needs and desires have to be negotiated. There's no magic number that describes the frequency of sex for happily married couples. If you're with a partner who wants sex every day, and you're content with sex once a month, both of you have some work to do to make sure you're reaching out and attempting to honor the difference in your levels of desire. Just ignoring the difference is a setup for resentment and conflict.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
More on Kisses
Here's 10 favorite types of kisses from loveletterbox.com:
French kiss - This is the most popular type of kiss that involves kissing with an open mouth while your tongues touch each other's tongues.
Cheek kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. A kiss preferred on the first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.
Tongue sucking kiss - A variation of the French kiss. During an open-mouth kiss gently suck on your partner's tongue (not too hard because it may hurt). Very sexy.
All over kiss - It begins with kissing your partner's forehead, moving down slowly to the nose. Tenderly, with an aggressive feeling, give your partner your best kiss right on the lips. Next, move your way down and continue with your own imagination.
Angel kiss - A sweet, comforting kiss. Kiss your partner very gently, delicately on their lips or eyelids.
Wake up kiss - Before your partner awakes lean over and kiss their cheek and move over giving soft kisses until you reach their lips. Definitely a more than pleasant way to wake up!
Tongue kiss - While French kissing your partner, gently suck their tongue while it's in your mouth. This produces a wonderful, erotic feeling for both!
Back kisses - Remove your partners shirt and have them lie down on their stomach. Sit comfortably over your partner's lower back and start kissing from the neck all the way down their back, while softly licking & breathing where you have kissed. This will give your partner cold shivers and it is very exciting.
Wet kiss - Once you have been kissing enough that both of your lips are wet, with your mouth barely open, gently rub back and forth, up and down, around and around.
Surprise kissing - This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa or the ground, either asleep or just lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Intensify the kiss until your partner opens their eyes or awakens.
For an even greater variety of kisses, visit www.loveletterbox.com/types_of_kisses.htm
French kiss - This is the most popular type of kiss that involves kissing with an open mouth while your tongues touch each other's tongues.
Cheek kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. A kiss preferred on the first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.
Tongue sucking kiss - A variation of the French kiss. During an open-mouth kiss gently suck on your partner's tongue (not too hard because it may hurt). Very sexy.
All over kiss - It begins with kissing your partner's forehead, moving down slowly to the nose. Tenderly, with an aggressive feeling, give your partner your best kiss right on the lips. Next, move your way down and continue with your own imagination.
Angel kiss - A sweet, comforting kiss. Kiss your partner very gently, delicately on their lips or eyelids.
Wake up kiss - Before your partner awakes lean over and kiss their cheek and move over giving soft kisses until you reach their lips. Definitely a more than pleasant way to wake up!
Tongue kiss - While French kissing your partner, gently suck their tongue while it's in your mouth. This produces a wonderful, erotic feeling for both!
Back kisses - Remove your partners shirt and have them lie down on their stomach. Sit comfortably over your partner's lower back and start kissing from the neck all the way down their back, while softly licking & breathing where you have kissed. This will give your partner cold shivers and it is very exciting.
Wet kiss - Once you have been kissing enough that both of your lips are wet, with your mouth barely open, gently rub back and forth, up and down, around and around.
Surprise kissing - This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa or the ground, either asleep or just lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Intensify the kiss until your partner opens their eyes or awakens.
For an even greater variety of kisses, visit www.loveletterbox.com/types_of_kisses.htm
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Kisses
Here's two top ten lists from loveletterbox.com:
Top Ten Places to Kiss Your Lover Top Ten Places for Kissing Your Lover
Behind their ear In your bedroom
Tip of their nose At the movies
Back of their neck At the beach
Under their chin In the carpark (?)
Curve of their waist In the car
Palm of their hand Anywhere when no one is around
Sensitive Spot At the park
Their eyelids In your house
Tips of their fingers At the airport
Small of their back In an elevator
If you've been slacking off on your kissing lately, you might want to refer to these lists for reviving your romantic efforts. Tomorrow I'll post on different types of kisses you might want to incorporate into your repertoire.
Top Ten Places to Kiss Your Lover Top Ten Places for Kissing Your Lover
Behind their ear In your bedroom
Tip of their nose At the movies
Back of their neck At the beach
Under their chin In the carpark (?)
Curve of their waist In the car
Palm of their hand Anywhere when no one is around
Sensitive Spot At the park
Their eyelids In your house
Tips of their fingers At the airport
Small of their back In an elevator
If you've been slacking off on your kissing lately, you might want to refer to these lists for reviving your romantic efforts. Tomorrow I'll post on different types of kisses you might want to incorporate into your repertoire.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Breast Facts
Because breasts are such a focal point of female sexuality, I thought you might find some of the following information of interest:
- It's very common for a woman to have breasts that differ in size, just as she may have one foot that is bigger than the other. The body is not perfectly symmetrical.
- During arousal, a woman's breasts swell by up to 25%, and her nipples may become very hard.
- Many women have hair around their nipples.
- About 10 percent of women have inverted nipples.
- Breasts are mostly fatty tissue which isn’t terribly sensitive to caresses and kisses. However, because the nipple itself and the area surrounding it (the areola) are full of nerve endings, they’re very sensitive to touch.
- Men also have many sensitive nerve endings in their nipples and can become very excited by nipple kisses and manual stimulation.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Shut-down Partner
What if you have a partner who's made it perfectly clear that they have no interest in sex and have no intention of continuing to accomodate your sexual desire? Sound harsh? Believe me, it happens.
Obviously, you can decide that you're committed to the relationship, sex or no sex, and just take care of your own sexual needs. No one should be forced into having sex that they don't want. The problem I have with someone who simply shuts down and refuses to make any effort in the sexual arena is that they're completely dismissing an important need of their partner. It's hard to feel loved when your needs aren't taken seriously, and taking out the sexual component of a couple relationship has the potential to do serious damage to the couple bond.
There are no easy answers when you want a sex life with your partner, and they want no part of it. Couple therapy is certainly recommended if you can get that level of cooperation. Ask your partner if there's anything you could do that might make a difference in their willingness to work on your sexual relationship. If they identify something, do it, but stop any pushing or pressuring. You've got to do your part in eliminating negativity from the sexual dynamic.
Obviously, you can decide that you're committed to the relationship, sex or no sex, and just take care of your own sexual needs. No one should be forced into having sex that they don't want. The problem I have with someone who simply shuts down and refuses to make any effort in the sexual arena is that they're completely dismissing an important need of their partner. It's hard to feel loved when your needs aren't taken seriously, and taking out the sexual component of a couple relationship has the potential to do serious damage to the couple bond.
There are no easy answers when you want a sex life with your partner, and they want no part of it. Couple therapy is certainly recommended if you can get that level of cooperation. Ask your partner if there's anything you could do that might make a difference in their willingness to work on your sexual relationship. If they identify something, do it, but stop any pushing or pressuring. You've got to do your part in eliminating negativity from the sexual dynamic.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Writing Your Own Erotica
It's too late for Valentine's Day, but Dear Sugar.com shared a great gift idea that could end up giving a boost to your sex life. I'm going to quote from the website:
"Think of it as the literary equivalent of making a sex tape: A company called UStarNovels lets you customize your own erotic stories with the names of you and your partner, the setting, and details of your choice. The way it works is, you choose the character names (it could even be a celebrity crush) and offer details like favorite food and music. You can even say how racy you want the love scenes to be. The result is a 160-page-plus novel written to your specs; it costs about $38 and arrives within a week, depending on shipping."
I was going to take a break from book-writing for awhile, but I may have to give this one a try. Since someone else is doing the actual writing, I think I could handle it. How about you?
"Think of it as the literary equivalent of making a sex tape: A company called UStarNovels lets you customize your own erotic stories with the names of you and your partner, the setting, and details of your choice. The way it works is, you choose the character names (it could even be a celebrity crush) and offer details like favorite food and music. You can even say how racy you want the love scenes to be. The result is a 160-page-plus novel written to your specs; it costs about $38 and arrives within a week, depending on shipping."
I was going to take a break from book-writing for awhile, but I may have to give this one a try. Since someone else is doing the actual writing, I think I could handle it. How about you?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Sex Noises
How loud you are when you make love sometimes has to do with where you are and who might overhear, but there's also a great deal of variation in how vocal people are during sex. There are the really silent types who not only don't utter a word during foreplay but don't even allow a moan to escape their lips when they're coming. Then there's the lover who talks all the way through it and then wakes up the neighbors when reaching the big "O". Most people fall somewhere in between.
Do you like your partner to talk to you during sex? Does it turn you on when they announce they're about to come? Do you like to make a lot of noise? If you and your partner are compatible in your vocalizations, that's great - if not, you need to have a conversation in which you each share what you like and what you don't like about the soundtrack accompanying your lovemaking. It's an important piece of sexual satisfaction.
Do you like your partner to talk to you during sex? Does it turn you on when they announce they're about to come? Do you like to make a lot of noise? If you and your partner are compatible in your vocalizations, that's great - if not, you need to have a conversation in which you each share what you like and what you don't like about the soundtrack accompanying your lovemaking. It's an important piece of sexual satisfaction.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Sex and Birth Control
I recently posted about the sexual side effects experienced by 25% of women taking the birth control pill. But if you can't or don't want to use the Pill, the alternatives - other than sterilization - are certainly less than ideal and can have their own sexual side effects. Because the other methods have lower effectiveness rates, the fear of pregnancy can shut down even a healthy libido.
When couples want to maintain an active sex life but are concerned about the possibility of an unintended pregnancy, good communication is critical. Many couples combine more than one method of birth control to increase safety. Using a condom along with a vaginal spermicide or using an IUD but also avoiding sex altogether during the fertile part of a woman's cycle are just two examples. Granted, it's a hassle, but less of a hassle than an accidental pregnancy and better than just avoiding sex completely.
If you're fearful about an unwanted pregnancy, talk to your partner. Decide together how you want to maintain the physical side of your relationship while minimizing your risk.
When couples want to maintain an active sex life but are concerned about the possibility of an unintended pregnancy, good communication is critical. Many couples combine more than one method of birth control to increase safety. Using a condom along with a vaginal spermicide or using an IUD but also avoiding sex altogether during the fertile part of a woman's cycle are just two examples. Granted, it's a hassle, but less of a hassle than an accidental pregnancy and better than just avoiding sex completely.
If you're fearful about an unwanted pregnancy, talk to your partner. Decide together how you want to maintain the physical side of your relationship while minimizing your risk.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sex in the Light
Recently I've been reminded that some people still find that the only way they're comfortable having sex is in the dark and under the covers. The idea of exposing their own body and viewing the body of their lover, especially in the light of day, is a turn-off rather than a turn-on. Sound like a throw-back to the 50's? Well, a lot of folks still carry around the baggage of the days when sex was considered the 'dirty deed'.
Sometimes the difficulty with exposure has less to do with the sex act and more to do with body discomfort. Women are especially prone to shame and embarrassment about their bodies and just aren't comfortable enough inside their skin to want to be on display. Unfortunately, body inhibition leads to a pretty restrictive sex life and leaves out one of our important senses.
If you're squeamish about out-in-the-open sex, you might want to try some baby steps to increase your comfort level. Start by throwing off the covers - in the dark. Then try it by candlelight - which tends to be flattering. The next step might be doing it under the covers in the afternoon. You get the idea. It's time to get en-lightened...
Sometimes the difficulty with exposure has less to do with the sex act and more to do with body discomfort. Women are especially prone to shame and embarrassment about their bodies and just aren't comfortable enough inside their skin to want to be on display. Unfortunately, body inhibition leads to a pretty restrictive sex life and leaves out one of our important senses.
If you're squeamish about out-in-the-open sex, you might want to try some baby steps to increase your comfort level. Start by throwing off the covers - in the dark. Then try it by candlelight - which tends to be flattering. The next step might be doing it under the covers in the afternoon. You get the idea. It's time to get en-lightened...
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