Same Old, Same Old

The complaint is as familiar as the start-up routine itself - a predictable set of moves used to get things going between the sheets: "It's the hand moving up and down my back, followed by a grab of my boob and humping me from behind. Why can't he ever change it up a little? Even if I was interested in sex, the same old tired groping ends up turning me off! If he just kissed me on the back of the neck and maybe stroked my hair, I'd get turned on a lot faster. I've tried talking to him about it, but he always gets angry."

And it's not just the start-up routine that lacks variety. How many of you are craving something other than the usual 5-10 minutes of touching and rubbing followed by intercourse in the same one or two positions? Maybe you've gotten lazy - or maybe you're greeted with the big chill when you bring out the furry handcuffs or suggest playing out a nurse/patient fantasy.


There's a certain comfort in predictability - and sometimes a quickie fits the bill perfectly- but novelty is what keeps things interesting and exciting. If you know every move your partner is going to make before they make it (and they know your moves, as well), it's time to do something - ANYTHING - different. Use your imagination. Change positions, change locations, change the start-up, change what you're wearing, change roles. It might take a little more time and energy, but it's easier than changing partners.