Wake up, Boomers!

It was in the mid-90’s that I began to hear the stories. The stories were wistful, poignant, and strikingly similar:

“I just don’t have any sex drive anymore. Sex is still good whenever we get around to it, but if it weren’t for Tom, I don’t think we’d ever GET around to it. Oh, maybe I’d miss it eventually, but it’s fallen way down on my list of priorities. I never thought I’d be one of those women who make up excuses to avoid sex.”

“ I retired last year and was looking forward to having more time with my wife. Sheila. My youngest left for college in the fall, and I had visions of Sheila and I chasing each other around our empty nest and making love in every room of the house. But now that I’m here, I just don’t have that much interest in sex – and Sheila doesn’t seem that interested either. Maybe we got so used to going without it that we don’t think about it anymore. Maybe it’s true what they say – ‘if you don’t use it, you lose it’.”

“These days are a far cry from our early years together. I used to get tired of Kent’s constant badgering for sex….now I could strip naked and dance around the living room and he’d be pissed off because I was blocking the TV. It’s not that I’ve turned into a sex maniac or anything – it would just be nice to feel wanted once in a while. I wonder if it’s him or if I just don’t turn him on anymore.”

You get the picture. These are stories from Baby Boomers – the generation that ushered in the Sexual Revolution. As a card carrying member of that generation – and as a sex educator and marriage therapist – I know that sex doesn't have to go down the tubes in mid-life. I also know that relationships pay a high price when sex goes AWOL. My goal is to help boomers move their sex drive into a higher gear and claim the benefits of a rich and rewarding sex life. Send me your stories and questions, and I'll post solutions and suggestions in this blog. Respond anonymously in comments or feel free to send me an email.