The Gender Gap

Doing to your partner what you'd like done to you causes some problems in straight couples' sexual encounters. I hear many women complain about partners going immediately for their crotch, and I hear men express impatience with all the foreplay that goes on strictly above the waist.

Another example: According to Masters, "Since rapid forceful stroking was the pattern of choice during male masturbation, it was also a consistent pattern during the male's manipulation of his female partner's clitoris. The lesbians' lighter touch was generally the more acceptable..." Similarly, husbands told the researchers that their wives "did not grasp the shaft of the penis tightly enough."

Being heterosexual doesn't have to be a major handicap in sexual interactions if you keep in mind the differences in what you find pleasurable and what your partner finds pleasurable. But, of course, knowing the differences involves talking about sex - something else gays seem better at than heterosexuals. The more openly and easily you can talk about what you do and don't enjoy in your sex life, the more you narrow the gender gap.