When you're working on reprogramming some negative messages and feelings about sex, it's ok to make those steps out of your comfort zone very small ones. You might begin by identifying who the guilt and shame-inducing voices belong to - your mom, your grandfather, your minister? Decide if the views delivered by those voices synch up with your current values and beliefs. Do you believe that sex is dirty - that men only want one thing - that to touch your genitals is nasty - that you shouldn't have to talk about sex - that 'nice' women aren't sexy?
If the old messages don't reflect your belief system, begin talking back to them. Challenge them - again and again and again - until they no longer feel true. You didn't get to choose how you learned about sex, but you do get to choose now what to chuck and what to keep. You can decide to adopt sex-affirming beliefs that will allow you to enjoy sex and claim a passion you never knew you were missing.
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