I received an email from a woman concerned about the role of fantasy in her sex life. "I've been married for 23 years and my husband and I have a good sexual relationship. But since going through menopause, I have less desire than I used to and I often have to fantasize to get myself to respond sexually. I hate it that my husband isn't enough to turn me on, and I feel guilty about the secret scenarios playing in my head."
Fantasy is a normal part of sexuality and often plays a more important role as familiarity with a partner and waning desire set in. Sharing fantasies with your partner and even acting out certain fantasies can keep you plugged into the action and your partner. Or you can use fantasy to jumpstart your desire and then tune into the current action. If you feel like you're over-relying on fantasy to get turned on, you may need to introduce more variety into your sexual routine. Talk to your partner and learn how make fantasy your friend.
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