I often hear men complain about a partner who 'allows' sex but doesn't really get into it. One man said, "I swear, I think she's composing a grocery list in her head when we're having sex. I guess I should be happy that she doesn't turn me down, but I'd be just as happy getting myself off. It feels about the same."
Women with low desire may feel like they've met their obligation to their partner if they're agreeable to sex when he wants it. But there's little joy in sex that doesn't involve mutual giving and receiving. It's not enough to 'go along' with it. That doesn't mean that you have to be equally interested at the outset or even equally invested in reaching peak sexual enjoyment at any point. What it does mean is that you're engaged with your partner and are present in the moment. That's a gift you give not only to your partner but to yourself.
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