Female Obstacle to Desire

There's a kernel of truth in every stereotype. So, though there are plenty of men dealing with low desire, it's a bigger problem for women. I've discussed the fact that women have lower levels of testosterone than men and that women have difficulty in claiming their sexuality due to their early conditioning as sex objects. But there's more to it than that.

Women's sexuality is less elemental than men's - less purely physical. A woman's sexuality is more tied into her brain than her genitalia. That is why a woman may struggle to get turned on when her thoughts are on how to get mom to take her meds correctly or whether to respond to a snippy email from her boss. It's also why 'small' distractions like children who are not yet asleep or overnight guests in the house can completely shut down any sexual interest or ability to respond sexually. Most men just don't seem to have a major problem with that.

Women can work on clearing the mind prior to a tryst so that sexual thoughts stand a fighting chance - and they can use a locked door and music to fend off distractions - but the reality is that there's more complexity to female sexual response than is the case with men. It sometimes takes a lot for all systems to be 'go' - but it's worth the effort.