Male/Female Roles - Part 2

So if women are trained to subordinate their needs, what are men trained to do? Men learn early on that their needs are important, so they pay attention to them. They eat when they're hungry, rest when they're tired, seek out the most comfortable chair in the room, play a round of golf or watch a football game even if the to-do list hasn't been touched, and then act totally amazed when their worn-out partners are seething with resentment.

Sound sexist? Unfortunately, we still live in a sexist world. Stereotypes, of course, are gross generalizations that don't allow for individual differences and human complexity. But I hear these sex role stereotypes play out in my office every day in my work with couples. Personally, I think women would be a lot better off if they took a cue from men and started taking their own needs more seriously. And men would have much happier partners - and a better sex life - if they took a cue from women and toned down their egocentrism just a notch.

Somewhere in the middle there's a balance between caring for yourself and caring for your partner. Without that balance, sex often falls victim to power struggles and resentment. So if you want to improve your sex life, you might want to start with increasing the gender equity in your relationship.