I've posted several times on how to address differences in desire in a relationship. Unfortunately, it's a rare week when I'm not working to help a couple move beyond the battles that have come to taint their sexual relationship. What can be a unifying force in a couple's relationship just as often divides and distances. One partner is accused of constant sexual pressure while the other is characterized as disinterested and rejecting.
If that dynamic sounds all too familiar to you, I would highly recommend a book by Michele Wiener-Davis, The Sex-Starved Marriage. The book does an excellent job of getting inside the hearts and minds of partners on both sides of the desire equation. Reading the section that describes your side of things, you start to feel like somebody really understands. And you feel less alone. Reading about your partner's perspective is often eye-opening.
The first step in negotiating a sexual truce is to stop getting polarized around the issue. You and your partner come from different places regarding sex, but you're not enemies. You can bridge the divide when you approach each other with understanding rather than with accusations.
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