Perimenopause

Over the past eight months, I've talked about a lot of factors that negatively impact desire - everything from sleep deprivation to resentment. But for women, there's also biology to contend with in the battle to maintain sexual feelings. Long before menstruation stops and menopause begins, women often start experiencing decreased desire.

The average age for the onset of menopause is 51. The buildup, however, often begins in the mid-thirties. That's the period of time called perimenopause, and it signals the onset of hormonal changes. The first change is a decline in progesterone followed by a decline in estrogen. Testosterone levels also begin declining but may vary from one month to the next. Since testosterone is significant in driving desire, women may feel very sexual one month and very uninterested when the next month rolls around.

Understanding the changes going on in your body is important in maintaining a sense of yourself as a sexual person. The decline in hormones will only dictate your sexual life if you hand over the reins. Actively nurturing your sexuality and keeping sex a priority will trump hormones every time.