'Want' Vs. 'Have To'

How often do you find yourself doing things you don't want to do? Like maybe getting out of bed this morning or going to work or mowing the grass - or maybe even having sex. Doing things you don't want to do leaves you feeling out of control, beaten down, and resentful. I've got a better idea. Stop doing those things you don't want to do.

That may sound impossible in a world chock full of responsibilities and demands, but it's actually very possible if you take a minute to discover the 'want' underneath the 'don't want'. You may not want to get out of bed and go to work, but you probably do want to earn money, be productive, be reliable, get a raise - all of which starts with getting out of bed. Taking the time to access the want hiding under the 'have to' reminds you that you have a choice. You are not a powerless schmuck just going through life fulfilling one obligation after another.


You may not always 'want' to have sex when you're partner is interested. But you most likely do want to have a close relationship and to be a loving partner. Taking the time to remind yourself what is most important leads to better decision-making and leaves you feeling in charge of your decisions.