Putting It On Paper

If you've stalled out or been shut down trying to talk to your partner about sex, you might want to try writing instead of talking. Writing has several advantages. Sometimes it's just easier writing things than it is saying them. Writing also gives you a chance to think carefully about your message and do revisions as needed. Your partner isn't pushed for an immediate response which can reduce the chances of a defensive reaction. And, your partner may take you more seriously when you've taken the time to put your thoughts down in writing.

There's power in the written word. Something in black and white just has a different credibility than the spoken word. In the reading and re-reading of a letter, there's more opportunity for a message to sink in. Just be sure that you take a positive approach. Complaints and criticism are even less effective when written than they are when spoken.

Share your desire to be closer. Ask for what you want. Take ownership for your part in the problems and state your willingness to work on yourself. Putting it on paper can be a powerful starting point for change.