I often talk to people who seem to view sex as the holy grail or somehow separate from the context of everyday life. It's either put on a pedestal as the ultimate expression of love or is considered animalistic and grossly over-rated. Unfortunately, the people holding those polarized views are frequently married to each other.
When sex is over- or under-emphasized, problems usually result. For there to be a healthy sexual relationship, sex needs to be integrated into real life. Real life also needs to be integrated into sex. That means understanding differences in sexual desire - realizing that sexual frequency and satisfaction will vary over the course of a relationship - acknowledging that sex can meet a variety of needs and can be serious, playful, loving, passionate, comforting, etc. - accepting that sex will change throughout life and being willing to adapt to those changes.
Real life sex may not be the stuff of movies or romance novels, but it's a lot easier to sustain - and ultimately a lot more satisfying.
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