Sex Blockers

Even when you're able to overcome the desire-blockers in your life and actually get around to having sex, there can be obstacles that surface during sex that can squash your interest or your arousal. Like when your partner starts carressing your belly and suddenly all you can think about is how much you hate the bulge around your middle and that your partner is probably getting grossed out by touching all that flab. Or when you feel your erection fading and begin worrying about whether you'll be able to perform. Or you being wondering whether the kids will overhear the sounds of your lovemaking.

The goal at those moments is to turn away from your intrusive thoughts and gently return your attention to the moment. If the thoughts are persistent, it might help to share them with your partner rather than to suffer in silence. You can also move your partner's hand to a different part of your anatomy, turn your focus from performance to connection, and ask your partner to muffle any squeals of pleasure.

You have more control over your thoughts than you think you do. When annoying thoughts pop into your head, you can give them a nod and let them go rather than inviting them to stick around for the show. Their only strength comes from the attention you give them.