Do you feel like a failure for not having exciting, television kind of sex? Or feel like the hum-drum sex you have with your partner means the zest is gone from your relationship? You may suffer from an unrealistic set of expectations when it comes to the quantity and quality of sex in your life.
If you're the lower desire person in your relationship, how much sex do you think it would take to satisfy your partner? Maybe you think it's every day, but have you asked? If you and your partner together can set a concrete goal in the sexual arena, then you both know what you're working toward. Let's say you decide on once a week for the frequency. Most of those sexual encounters will probably fall in the vanilla ice cream version of sex - comforting and soothing but not terribly exciting. Then maybe you set another goal of having mint chocolate chip kind of sex at least once a month where you aim for some variety and a more intense flavor. Who knows? You may discover you like mint chocolate chip so much that you want to have it a little more often!
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