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Monday, October 1, 2007

Sexual Doing vs. Sexual Being

As discussed in yesterday's post, women are not the only ones who've been shortchanged in their sexual learning. Men's sexual conditioning has basically reduced their sexuality to the functioning of their penis. So how can men make the move from sexually 'doing' to sexually 'being'?

First, men need to take some pressure off their penis and stop measuring their manhood by the frequency, quality, and reliability of their erections. Focusing on non-sexual touch is a good beginning, moving on gradually to sexual touch that doesn't end with intercourse. In the focus on the finish line, many men (and their partners) have given short shrift to their many non-genital erogenous zones.

Second, men can ramp up their attention to the intimacy and connection available in sexual contact. Being fully present with your partner changes the focus from outcome to process and brings the whole self into play.

Tune into tomorrow for more on men as sexual beings.

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