It seems to be a perverse Catch-22 that men often want sex in order to feel intimate and women want intimacy before feeling any interest in sex. Of course that's a big generalization but it reflects the experience of millions of men and women in relationships. So what's the answer?
One solution is to put the higher desire partner in charge of intimacy and the lower desire partner in charge of sex. That may sound strange, but it reverses the tired old dynamic of one person pushing their own agenda while the other person digs their heels in and resists. In the new scenario, the person wanting more sex pays careful attention to what kind of intimacy their partner is seeking - date nights, walks after dinner, cuddling on the couch - and puts their energy into meeting those needs. The person who's less interested in sex puts more energy into being sexual - initiating sexual encounters, suggesting new sexual behaviors, flirting.
A role reversal could be just what you're sex life is waiting for.
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