Still Wanting

If we want what we cannot have, then how do people in long-term committed relationships keep wanting each other? The answer lies in a shifting experience of desire. Just as you can still feel delicious anticipation while chocolate chip cookies are baking in the oven even when you're not on a diet, you can continue to relish the closeness and physical pleasure of intimacy with your partner long after the initial thrill has gone.

Desire in response to scarcity can be a painful experience. Wanting what you know is available brings comfort and contentment. That contentment is one of the joys of long-term relationships in which there is mutual give and take. Contentment may sound lukewarm compared to the hot passion of earlier sex with your partner, but you don't have to completely sacrifice one for the other.

Passion and desire can be created by the illusion of scarcity. More on that tomorrow.