Whose Fault?

When you begin feeling dissatisfied in a relationship, you probably see your partner as the problem. It's not nearly as easy (or as satisfying) to examine what role you play in the problem.
The down side of staying in the blaming mode is that it leaves you powerless to create change.

A different approach is to think about what it's like living with you as a partner. At your worst, what is one word that describes what it's like living with you? Are you being the partner that you want to have?

Sexual problems are especially susceptible to blaming behavior. You focus on your partner's pressure or lack of interest. You might want to try a week-long experiment in which you only concentrate on changing your part of the sexual dynamic in your relationship. Deciding to change is a lot more effective than waiting until you feel like changing - or waiting until your partner changes.