If it's been a long time since you've been interested in sex, you've probably developed some patterns of avoidance. Not wanting to turn your partner down and face their disappointment or anger, it's a lot easier to make sure it doesn't get to that point. So you stay very busy - you make sure to go to bed either earlier or later than your partner - you pick fights or maintain an icy distance after being wronged - you sleep with a child or a 50 lb. dog between you - you stop being affectionate out of fear that your partner will interpret your affection as sexual interest.
That last one is a real killer of connection in a relationship. Sexual or not, touch is critical to maintaining closeness with your partner. And talk about feeling rejected and unloved - when hugs and kisses and snuggling disappear along with the sex, why wouldn't your partner feel unwanted?
Tomorrow I'll talk about a path back to connection.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I AM HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME FINDING ANY INFORMATION FOR WOMEN COPING WITH THE FEELINGS OF REJECTION FROM A PARTNER WHO AVOIDS SEX ALMOST COMPLETELY, REFUSES TO TALK ABOUT IT IN A SAFE SETTING AND ACTUALLY STOPS IN THE MIDDLE OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. WE HAVE RECENTLY SEPARATED - BADLY... AND I HAVE SO MANY MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT IT. I HAVE GAINED WEIGHT, FEEL VERY UNDESIRABLE AND JUST PLAIN CONFUSED. I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A HEALTHY SEXUAL DRIVE AND LOVE SEX BETWEEN TWO HEALHY ADULTS. UNFORTUNATELY HE DID NOT SHARE THOSE BELIEFS WITH ME AND ACTUALLY HURT ME DURING INTERCOURSE BECAUSE HE WAS SO ADVERSE TO IT. FEELING VERY DEJECTED. ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR DEALING WITH THESE FEELINGS? HE LIKED TO CUDDLE AND WAS SWEET IN ANY WAY THAT DID NOT INVOLVE SEX WHICH MADE ME BELIEVE HE CARED BUT WAS JUST NOT INTERESTED IN SEX.
Post a Comment