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Monday, November 19, 2007

Self Arousal

No, I'm not talking about masturbation. I'm talking about sharing the responsibility for arousal in your relationship. If you're bored with your sex life, it may be that you're relying too heavily on stimulation from without rather than from within. You may believe that too much sameness or familiarity inevitably leads to boredom - which is the danger of not recognizing your potential for generating your own stimulation.

I sometimes hear from people who no longer feel 'turned on' by a partner who has gained weight. These are people who have made their partner the sole source of their sexual feelings. They fail to recognize their capacity for 'seeing' the whole person with more than their eyes. If getting turned on is dependent solely on a partner's appearance, then everyone's in trouble as age and gravity take their toll.

The real issue is whether your relationship turns you on - not whether someone or something turn you on. And the relationship is up to both of you.

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