Role Enactment

The last of the three arousal styles involves using your imagination. It might be a private fantasy or one shared with your partner. It could include role playing and the use of props. If you rely heavily on this style of arousal, you probably like a lot of variety - having sex in different places, using sex toys, dressing in sexy clothing, trying out new positions, watching x-rated movies with your partner, etc.

This arousal style requires an ability to let go and experiment. There's often a sense of playfulness involved, but that doesn't mean it can't be intimate. In fact, there needs to be a great deal of trust and safety in order for both partners to get comfortable enough to try new things.

Maybe you'd like to utilize this style more often in your lovemaking but have a partner who finds it way outside their comfort zone. Heavy pressure, criticism, or complaints are unlikely to create the safe environment needed for sexual exploration. Tomorrow I'll talk about blending the 3 styles.