Asking Vs. Griping

When it comes to sex, many people are clearer about what they don't want than what they do want. It's a lot easier to complain than to ask for what you want. If you're unhappy with your sexual relationship, change will be more likely if you begin turning your complaints into requests.

Instead of "the only time you're affectionate is when you want sex", try "could you be affectionate sometimes when it's not about sex?" Instead of "you never want to try anything new in bed", try "is there a way I can make it easier for you to experiment a little?"

Making requests is tough because you make yourself vulnerable. You might hear 'no'. There's less vulnerability in being a critic, but criticism pretty much guarantees a negative response. It's really about asking - not telling.