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Saturday, February 23, 2008

Recalculating

If you made some sexual resolutions for the new year, this is a good time to do a check-in to see how you're progressing. It's helpful to schedule a time to sit down with your partner and evaluate your progress together. This is not a blame session. Criticizing and blaming each other for failed efforts or lack of progress only sets you further back.

I got a new GPS for Christmas, and I'm having a great time with it. I love how it responds when I fail to follow its directions. It simply takes note of my error and in a neutral voice says, "recalculating". Then it redirects me on my route given my current position.

It would be great if people could exhibit that kind of patience and neutrality when assessing their mistakes and wrong turns on their way toward change. Change is difficult. Sexual behavior and attitudes are often especially resistant to change. Give yourself lots of permission to go slowly and to do lots of 'recalculating' as you work toward improving your sex life.

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