I've posted previously on non-hurtful ways to decline an unwanted sexual invitation from your partner. I was recently reminded, however, that some people believe that 'yes' is the only really acceptable response to a partner's invite. This belief is based on the idea that it is the responsibility of each partner to accomodate the other's sexual desire.
The problem with this thinking is that it doesn't account for accomodation of the partner who lacks sexual desire. The accomodation only goes one way. I'm not arguing against the need for each partner to give a little -and sometimes a lot - in negotiating differences in desire. I am arguing for the right of either partner to say 'no'.
Without the freedom to say no, you're not truly free to say yes. Intimacy demands the freedom to say either.
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