Changing the Viewing

If you've tried turning a blind eye to your lover's physical imperfections but just can't get past them, it's time to open your eyes a little wider. The problem often originates from a narrowing of the vision that focuses on flaws to the exclusion of the whole picture. It's what people often do to themselves when they stand naked in front of a full-length mirror. Few people fare well under that kind of negative scrutiny.

Try focusing not only on the whole body but on the physical aspects of your partner you find most appealing. Utilize your mind's incredible capacity for fantasy and illusion. See what you want to see.

Ask yourself whether your physical turn-off may have more to do with anger or resentment about other issues in the relationship. Just as every annoying habit of your partner is more annoying when you're on the outs, so are physical flaws going to be magnified from a place of disconnection.

Taking ownership of the problem is the first step in getting turned back on. Changing yourself can do a lot to change your viewing of your partner.