Sex Scale

While in the hospital recovering from knee surgery, I was frequently asked to rate my level of pain on a scale from 0 to 10. It seemed like a weird question in some ways since pain is such a relative thing. I'm sure my '8' might rate a '4' from a real pain-hardy type - and how could a number really describe what I was feeling anyway?

Of course, the numbers are not meant to be an objective, accurate measure of discomfort. It's simply a way for medical personnel to get an idea of how each individual is tolerating the pain, and to assess improvement - or lack of improvement - as the healing progresses.

Rating your sexual interest on the same kind of scale can be a convenient, short-hand way of communicating with your partner and negotiating differences in desire. For instance, when there's an opportunity for sex and your partner's interest is an 8 and yours is a 5, your partner may be willing to go the extra mile to help increase your desire. However, if you rate your interest closer to a one or a zero, your partner may easily defer sex for another time. But it needs to work in reverse, as well. Knowing your partner's interest is a 9 or a 10 may help motivate you to ramp up your own desire.

Communicating sexual interest with numbers can bring more clarity to sexual discussions and help depersonalize desire differences.