Addressing sexual problems is tough because of the sensitivity and vulnerability people feel about their sexuality. Yesterday I talked about solution-oriented questions as a way of opening up a dialogue about sexual issues. Another helpful strategy is to think of a problem as the problem rather than a person as the problem.
That may sound strange, but you tend to make a lot more progress when you step out of a blaming mode and see problems as something to be solved together. You take whatever either one of you is struggling with internally and put it out on the table. You externalize the problem. Once the problem is 'out there', the couple owns it rather than either individual owning it.
Mutual ownership of sexual problems in a relationship makes problem-solving a whole lot easier. Together, you work toward reclaiming the sex life you want from the clutches of the problem.
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