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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Pain and Sexual Desire

Back in December I posted about the impact of pain on sexual functioning. What I didn't discuss was the impact of pain on sexual desire. As I recover from my knee surgery, I've been reminded that when you're hurting, you're often not in the mood for a LOT of things - including sex.

At a time when most people need more support and care than ever, the irritability and impatience created by discomfort can cause distance in a relationship. Pain tends to be isolating. You not only feel sorry for yourself, but also feel that your partner can't possibly understand or relate to what you're going through. And the truth is, they can't. They may empathize, but they can't really know what you're feeling.

I'm fortunate that my pain is temporary and that healing should bring relief over the next few weeks. If you have pain that is chronic, you may need to guard against pushing your partner away. Ask for their patience when you have precious little of it and look for ways to nurture intimacy. Though pain may put a hex on your desire, sex can provide both comfort and a few moments of escape from hurt.

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