Desiring Desire

I often talk to people who want to have a better sexual relationship but don't want to put effort into it. What they want is to feel spontaneous desire again. In other words, they want to want sex.

For some, wanting sex is as natural as breathing. Tired, sick, stressed - through it all, they never lose their sexual drive. But for many others, a strong sex drive is experienced primarily during the intense romantic phase of a new relationship. When that romantic phase begins winding down, so does their sexual interest.

There's no magic formula for creating spontaneous physical desire. If you're waiting for a lightening bolt of passion to make you want sex, you're probably going to be waiting a long time. But you have a lot of power in becoming a more sexual being and making sex a joyful part of your life. Working toward that outcome is the first step toward wanting sex.