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Too tired? Too busy? Too pissed off? Tell me what's shutting down your desire and I'll help you find solutions for kicking it up a notch.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

A Solution-Focused Approach

In the last post I recommended using requests rather than complaints to improve your sex life. Another change strategy is asking solution-oriented questions - in other words, asking questions that help you discover solutions to sexual problems.

The following questions give you an idea of how you might approach your partner to discuss your sexual relationship.

What do you like the most about our sex life?
What do you like the least?
What is one thing that would add to your enjoyment of sex?
What would need to change for you to have the sexual relationship you want?

These questions are non-critical and non-threatening. The answers to the questions provide important clues to increasing sexual satisfaction. If it's difficult to get this conversation started, each of you could first write out your responses to the questions and then share what you've written. Or try doing it through email. Just starting this kind of dialogue is a big step toward creating the sex life that both of you want.

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